The two parties sit down at the table and arrive at a mutually agreeable solution. Later, as emotions run high and tempers are flaring, a small, unmarked package exchanges hands and crisis is averted. Middle East peace negotiations? Shady lobbyists bribing corrupt politicians? No, this is just a regular day in the life of Suburban Daddy.
How is it that young kids are such expert negotiators? Bedtime becomes a negotiation of how many books to read, who gets to brush their teeth first, whether to wear the soccer or baseball pajamas, and if the pajamas have long pants or shorts. As a parent, the only bargaining leverage you have are the many rewards at your disposal. Did I say rewards? That’s the politically correct way to say bribes. Yes, I bribe my kids. And so do you, according to this poll.
Apparently, rewards are good but bribes are bad. I say there isn’t much difference as long as it works. Bribes – oh, I meant rewards – don’t need to be much to be effective. The trick as a parent is to get the behavior you want, with the smallest possible payout. Potty training is the perfect place for bribes. Suburban Preschooler was 98% potty trained, then regressed where he started to have daily accidents. Now, anytime he goes poop in the potty, he gets an Oreo. Bribery you say? I say three days without accidents. Sure, it works against you sometimes. Like when he asks What am I going to get? before going potty. But, I don’t have to clean poop.
What do you use to bribe your kids? Let me know in a comment.