So Much For Sleeping

We are in the middle of probably the biggest snowstorm I’ve ever seen. Snow was coming down last night at a rate of 3-4 inches per hour. We let the kids stay up late last night because we aren’t going anywhere for a long time, and hoped maybe they would sleep late.

Shortly after 6am this morning, Thing 1 woke up and ventured downstairs. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem because he is 6 and knows how to turn the TV on and usually waits for everyone else to wake up.

Except this morning he was excited about the snow and wanted to see how it looked outside.

So he opened the front door to look out the glass storm door. Which set off the alarm and abruptly woke everyone up. If you think waking to an alarm clock is unpleasant, imagine a high decibel, high pitched noise designed to scare burglars away.

The Accomplice

I just sent Thing 1 and Thing 2 to play in the basement so I can eat my breakfast. We are finally at the point where they can play down there together for extended periods without causing too much trouble.

I also sent Thing 3 with them. He is not quite at the point where he can be alone with his brothers and not cause trouble.

I know exactly how this situation will end up. Either Thing 3 will hit someone, mess up whatever game they are playing, or press all the buttons on the TV so the Wii doesn’t work.

I suppose, then, I am an accomplice to whatever he does. That’s something I’m willing to take because I really just need 5 minutes to eat breakfast.

There Is No Such Thing As A Sick Day

In the movie A League Of Their Own, Tom Hanks memorably exclaims “There’s no crying in baseball”.

Well, in the world of parenting, unfortunately, there are no sick days.

I’m entering day 3 of the worst cough, sore throat, headache, congestion you can imagine. Yesterday I was able to take a sick day at work.

But there was no sick day from parenting. I still had to get the Things dressed, fed, and take them to school. In the afternoon, I still had to do 3 separate art projects in 3 different classrooms as part of Parents Appreciation Week because I committed to it before I got sick. I still had to do a triple bath night, and a Lego project with Thing 3 I had promised him for Friday night because I wasn’t able to be at his Parents Appreciation event because the school scheduled all three at the same time.

Parents Appreciation Week? That’s when the preschool schedules a week’s worth of activities for you with your kids when they’d otherwise be far away at school.

Now today is Saturday and it’s more of the same. But it’s the weekend, you say? Time to get some rest?

In my world, there is another reality which is, There Is No Resting On Weekends.

The Worst Thing You Can Say To A 6 Year Old

There is a lot of mean stuff that kids say about other kids. Teasing and insults are kid specialties.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 were discussing football on the way to school one morning. It’s about all they discuss these days.

Look, there’s a red car…they must like the Chiefs. Or, it’s 7:49. 49ers!

On this particular morning, Thing 2 said his friend, we’ll call him Bobby, doesn’t know anything about football. Bobby probably doesn’t know about football since he is 4 years old and doesn’t have the, uh, benefit of a big brother who is obsessed with the topic.

Thing 1 got very upset. He was on the verge of tears. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Why did you say that!? Bobby is your BEST friend. Why would you say he doesn’t know anything about football?”

Apparently, in Thing 1’s football circle of friends, this is the meanest possible insult to someone. Even worse than the “your mom” classics I remember from when I was about that age.

The Room Sharing Experiment

We are 3 weeks into the great room sharing experiment. I guess it’s not quite an experiment because we have no plan B if it doesn’t work out. But so far the results have been pretty good. No major fights or territorial conflicts, which I was expecting. Interestingly, there have been other changes that I didn’t expect.

Before moving in together, Thing 1 and Thing 2 had different personalities, routines, and interests. Thing 1 liked to recite sports statistics, go to sleep early with the lights off, and he was generally serious and reserved. Thing 2 liked imagination play, regularly having conversations with his dragons and toys for a good hour in his bed before finally falling asleep with the lights on.

From what I’ve seen in just a few weeks each is becoming more like the other. It’s like instead of a Thing 1 and Thing 2, we now have two Thing One-And-A-Half’s. Some of this merging into Thing 1.5 has been a good influence. Thing 2 is now more interested in reading, sports (good for me), and other interests and abilities like his big brother. And Thing 1 has become more imaginative and shows a sillier side. Surprisingly, they have become even more inseparable. I honestly don’t know how they don’t get tired of each other.

But, we also have a spreading of the not so good habits. They now both stay up late and play in their room to the point where we need to go up at least 3 times a night to tell them to quiet down and go to sleep. What used to be a very organized and orderly bedroom under just the management of Thing 1, has evolved into the just put everything on the floor system favored by Thing 2.

All in all, it’s been a net positive outcome. Which I have to say was an unexpected, very pleasant surprise.

Winter 2009 Performances

It’s a time honored tradition. Each class in the school puts on a winter show. The kids rehearse for weeks and all the parents come to watch. Here are the highlights from this year.

In case you can’t pick out the Things, here are some clues. Thing 1 is strategically positioned between the two girls and loving it. Thing 2 is the kid who jumps up and waves “Daddy!” when he walks into the room. And Thing 3, well, you won’t miss him. He is the center of attention as always.

Kid Jokes

Kids have their own brand of humor. Let’s just say Jay Leno and Conan O’brien have nothing to worry about from these two comediennes.

Thing 2: Why did the chicken go in the pool?

Why?

Thing 2: Because he wanted to go down the drain

Ba dum bump!

Thing 2: Why did the chicken go to the barn?

Thing 1: To see all the animals?

Thing 2: [cracking up as he says it] Because he wanted the animals to bite off his booty.