Author: suburbandaddy

A Better Way To Rock Your Baby To Sleep

In the “why didn’t I think of that” category, enter The Settle Pedal. A nifty contraption that turns any ordinary crib into a foot powered rocker.

From their website:

The Settle Pedal is a product of the wisdom accumulated from having three kids. A tired engineer Dad decided a tool was necessary for helping get child number three to sleep so there’d be some energy left over for numbers one and two. Thus, the Settle Pedal was born.

Like this guy, SuburbanDaddy is a tired engineer Dad that has accumulated wisdom from having three kids.? But, I’m still waiting for the invention light bulb to go off in my head.

What Are Babies Thinking?

At two months old, Thing 3 is able to smile. It’s a major milestone for parents. This bundle, aka blob, of joy that has done nothing but eat/cry/sleep/poop for two months, is now aware of his surroundings and able to interact with us. Everyone comes up to him now and tries to get him to smile. I wonder, what do babies think when parents try to get them to smile? Are they as amused as us?

Day vs. Night

Since the arrival of Thing 3 about two months ago, I have developed a bit of a split personality. Day SuburbanDaddy is the guy that gets up around 5am, gets the kids dressed and fed before rushing them off to preschool, then goes to work, followed by a final flurry of dinner-bath-bedtime. Night SuburbanDaddy is the one that comes out once the kids are finally asleep, hopefully by 8:30pm, and enjoys the relative quiet until the cycle repeats starting at 5am.

Day Daddy eats meals in 12 seconds, standing up, over the sink, while Things 1,2,3 are screaming, fighting, crying, or breaking stuff. Night Daddy sips a glass of wine and catches up on the day’s events, while quietly waiting for dinner to cook.

Day Daddy must maintain a steady flow of caffeine while at work to prevent falling asleep with his head on the keyboard. Night Daddy enjoys a bowl of ice cream every night before going to sleep.

Day Daddy is the responsible one. If there were no Night Daddy, Day would go to bed as soon as the kids were asleep, so the next day he wouldn’t be as sleep deprived. But Night Daddy doesn’t care how tired Day Daddy will be the next day. It’s not his problem. Night Daddy wants to enjoy a couple hours of free time. Watch a football game that goes well past midnight. Drink some wine. After all, why should Night Daddy cut short his fun?

Night Daddy has enormous power over Day Daddy’s life. The later Night stays up, and the more he drinks, the harder it is for Day in the morning. The power, though, is completely lopsided. There is almost nothing Day Daddy can do to ruin Night Daddy’s existence.

One way Day Daddy has tried to stop Night Daddy is by giving the kids lots and lots of chocolate after dinner. He figured that the kids wouldn’t go to bed until much later than 8:30, so Night Daddy wouldn’t get his usual time. But the plan backfired. Night Daddy said Screw You Day Daddy, and just stayed up later, causing Day Daddy even more trouble the next day because the kids had half a night’s sleep.

But Day Daddy has a new plan. He’s going to start slacking off at work, and let so much work pile up, that Night Daddy will be forced to spend his evenings working instead of enjoying a few hours to himself. Take that, Night Daddy!

What New Parents Learn

New parents learn very quickly that late night TV, and especially early morning, sucks. I’m writing this at 5:45am, after watching the end of what could be the worst movie ever made – Staying Alive. It’s the sequel to a very good movie, but they should have known it was off to a bad start when they got Sylvester Stallone to direct a movie about Broadway dancers. But then again, this was around the time of some of Stallone’s best work like Rhinestone. How do I fall back asleep after watching something this bad?

When Make Believe Becomes Real

When Thing 1 and Thing 2 are in hyper-mode, like after they’ve had a bowl of ice cream and we’re trying to get them to bed, it’s near impossible to calm them down. Sometimes, I play a game where I tell them to give me their “sillies”, and I pretend to put them in my pocket. I tell them I’ll give them back once they get into bed. Believe it or not, it sometimes works. Tonight, I had this exchange with Thing 2

Me: Give me your sillies
Thing 2: No!! (runs out of room with shirt on head)
Me: Ok, I’m taking them (I pretend to swallow them)

At this point, he breaks into hysterics, wailing that he wants his sillies back. He thought I really swallowed them, and he couldn’t be silly anymore. I couldn’t help but laugh. I guess whatever daddy says is believable at this age. I can’t wait to see what happens when I tell him about the boogie man under his bed!