We have been working for a long time with Thing 3 to use his words instead of crying when he wants something. Or, more likely, when he doesn’t want something.
Rather than breaking into a tantrum because he wants Apple Jacks instead of Fruit Loops, or the green bowl instead of the blue, or because he only will wear white socks, we want him to just say what he wants. I’m more than happy to give him the green bowl.
So we encourage him to use his words. At preschool they do the same, teaching the kids to say “Don’t hit me” when their friends hit them, instead of hitting back.
He is making progress and often uses words instead of a tantrum. But sometimes he uses the wrong words for the situation and the results can be quite entertaining.
In one situation at school, he didn’t like what was for lunch so he said “No, don’t fight!”. The teachers were a little puzzled until we explained he says that when he doesn’t like something. He probably picked it up from me telling his brothers to stop fighting a hundred times a day.
Then, in another situation, he mentioned something about Mommy picking him up. When the teacher said Mommy wasn’t coming until the afternoon, he said “No, Don’t hit me!”
Now the teachers were a little concerned. When he talks about Mommy, he uses words about hitting and fighting? They asked if anything is going on at home.
This wasn’t the only time “Don’t hit me” may have concerned someone. When we are out, and Thing 3 is doing stuff he shouldn’t be, like knocking everything off the shelf at the supermarket, and we ask him to pick it up, his response is “Don’t hit me!”. You can see how someone passing by might get the wrong idea.
Still, words are better than tantrums. Even if they aren’t the right words.
