Category: parents today

Living Dangerously

For the most part, having kids makes you act more responsibly. My driving habits certainly improved when I began driving with “precious cargo” as my Mom referred to the kids in the back seat. I suppose I used to weave through traffic a little more, and drive with a heavier foot.

Another reason for the more careful driving is that driving a minivan, among other things, makes it a little harder to do those things. And I also find that the car, equipped with dual DVD screens, is one of my few opportunities to relax. Maybe not relax since I have to listen to the same shows over and over. But at least I can sit in one place and tune out the noise. So maybe I drive slower because I’m not in any particular rush to get where we’re going.

But, surprisingly, there are some riskier behaviors I have developed because of kids.

As an example, I used to shut the car off when pumping gas. After all, the sign at the gas station says to shut off the engine or a big explosion could occur. Why don’t I do it anymore?

It goes back to the previously mentioned DVD player. When the car is turned off, the player also turns off, and we need to start back at the beginning of the DVD, and wait the 60 seconds to get through all the previews and the FBI warning (why can’t they have special fast play DVD’s for kids movies?). That’s more than enough to set Thing 3 off on a crying fit that will last way more than 60 seconds and possibly set him on a fussy course all day.

So I leave the engine on when I pump gas and breathe a big sigh of relief when it’s over.

I’ve also been known to take my eyes off the road for a second, or two, or ten seconds, to pick up a dropped toy. Or to take away a toy that’s causing a fight. Or to turn around after hearing “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy” just to get Thing 2 to stop saying my name like I wrote about last year.

I know there are more of you out there. What risky behaviors do your kids make you do?

Adding It Up

Toddlers can be attached to the strangest objects.? Thing 2 had Mustache Guy and Mister Dragon.

Thing 3 has cycled through several stuffed animals as his comfort objects.? First it was the monkey, then Pablo from Backyardigans.? Stuffed animals I can understand as comfort objects.? They are soft and cute.

But his latest object doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.? He has become very attached to a calculator.? He sleeps with it.? He reaches for it as soon as he wakes, and walks around the house with it in his hand.

I’ve seen him laying on the ground and pushing the buttons with a very serious look on his face.? What exactly is he calculating?? I have a few ideas.

Maybe he is adding up all the times he has cried so far today.? Believe me, he needs a calculator for that, it’s a very high number.

Or maybe he is adding up the amount of milk he’ll drink in the next 16 years.? If he maintains his current pace, that works out to $541,935.? More or less.

Or how about the number of rounds of golf his Daddy will play this year.? Oh wait, you don’t need a calculator to count those.? Just a couple of fingers.

Milk and Bankruptcy

We go through a lot of milk.? What’s a lot?? Try four gallons a week.? This week I went to the store to buy a gallon of milk.? Since it was the only item I bought, it stood out how much a gallon of milk actually costs.? $3.50.?? Usually, I get more stuff and don’t notice what the milk costs.

It’s not like my milk buying habits would change if I knew the price.? When Thing 3 wakes up in the morning, he is like a crack addict jonesing for his sippy cup of milk.? It usually takes two full cups to settle him down, then he’s good for a few hours until his next fix.

So I started doing the math.? Four gallons a week.? $3.50 a gallon.? That’s $14 a week.? 52 weeks a year.? Comes to $728 a year just for milk!

And they are in daycare all day during the week, where the milk is included.? What happens when they start elementary school and they’re home a few hours earlier…drinking milk?? I don’t want to even think about all the food they’ll be eating when they are teenagers.?? I hope there are some provisions for milk in the trillion dollar economic stimulus package.

Single Parenting

I am a single parent again this weekend. SuburbanMommy is off on a girls Oscar weekend until Monday. I hope to learn from my experience last weekend, when I was a virtual single parent while SuburbanMommy was working Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (holiday).

The first lesson I learned is to get help!

Lesson #1: Reduce the number of kid
So this weekend I have lined up a sleepover Friday night for Thing 1 with his cousins at SuburbanAunt’s house. At this point, dealing with just two kids, even though it is the younger ones, seems like a walk in the park. I wouldn’t have said that a couple years ago when I only had two kids. But when you are used to three, two is easy.

Lesson #2: Bring in outside help
SuburbanUncle is coming to visit Saturday after nap time (Thing 3’s, not mine). He is younger than me with more energy, and the kids will have someone else to climb on for a few hours, giving my back a much needed rest.

Lesson #3: Bring in more outside help
On Sunday, I have a babysitter coming in the afternoon to give them dinner and put them to bed, so I can eat a meal in peace.

Lesson #4: Plan recovery time
I’m taking a vacation day on Monday to catch up on some stuff (like blogging) and get some much needed R&R.

Lesson #5: Being a single parent is hard
I always knew single parents had it tough. But until the last two months, when I got a taste of what it’s like, I couldn’t appreciate just how tough. To the single parents out there: I salute you. How do you do it day in and day out?

Always Take The Diaper

You’d think I would have learned this lesson by now.? If you are a new parent listen up.? No matter how fast you think a trip will take, no matter how unlikely it is you think you’ll need it, always, always take a diaper with you.

I learned this lesson recently, again, the hard way.? I took Thing 3 to an appointment at the allergy doctor.? It was just a quick follow up visit, where he would get an allergy skin test done.? Run in, run out.? I did not take a diaper.

Well, you can guess what happens next.? We get into the room, doctor sees him, nurse then comes in to administer the test, which is a series of skin pricks to his back.? He then keeps his shirt off for 15 minutes, and the doctor checks for reactions.

About 30 seconds into the 15 minute waiting period, I can smell the dirty diaper.? It doesn’t help that we are in a 10 foot by 10 foot room.

I decided to venture out to the waiting area because there were toys there for him to play with.? Also, because I needed to get some air.? There were other people in the waiting room, who surely knew about the poop in the diaper.? You’d have to be severly olfactory impaired not to.? I’m sure they were thinking – who is this incompetent, unprepared dad?

If there is one lesson I can pass on it is this:? Always take the diaper!

Should This Be A Toy Craze?

Apparently, this is a big enough story to make the front page of the Washington Post.? Forget Tickle Me Elmo and Webkinz, the hottest toy this year is a baby doll that actually poops.? Baby Alive comes with food you feed it, and then it pretends to poop.? Just like the real thing.

I don’t know, maybe I don’t get it because I only have boys, but do people really pay $59.99 for this?? I don’t see why someone would get this for their kid.

On the other hand, maybe I could see buying it for someone else’s kid.? Kind of like the toys with 6,000 tiny little pieces we would never buy for our kids, but other parents always give us as birthday presents.

Rethinking The Smurfs

I’m always amazed when my kids are into stuff that I liked as a kid. Books like Cat in the Hat, games like Candyland, and now cartoons like Tom and Jerry, Superfriends, and The Smurfs. Compared to today’s computer generated animation, cartoons of the 70s are laughable. Just like the video games we played. Can you say Asteroids?

Many of the old cartoons, by today’s standards, are incredibly unpolitically correct. Bugs Bunny has racial and ethnic stereotypes. Tom and Jerry is too violent. Whatever, they still have something that kids find entertaining.

So when I saw the Smurfs again this week, I thought, here is something from my childhood that still looks good today. The animation is decent, and the story lines are pretty tame.

Except, I started to think about the whole premise of the Smurfs. A group of bare-chested boys communing in an isolated village in the woods, led by an older, fatherly figure who calls himself Papa. And then there’s the lone girl, Smurfette, who is worshiped by all the boys. It sounds like a cult, no? Papa Smurf has them all brainwashed to be afraid of an evil wizard, Gargamel. La la la-la la la.

Did Motrin Go Too Far?

Have you heard all the controversy over this Motrin ad?? Motrin is trying to appeal to moms by making a case that wearing your baby, in slings and carriers, hurts your back, so you should use Motrin.? There has been a huge outcry from baby wearing groups, moms, and doctors.? To the point where Motrin had to take down the ads and post an apology on their website.

Too much?? I don’t know.? Maybe the ad goes a little over the line.? But I watched it, and if you ask me, the tone is firmly tongue in cheek.? After all, they’re trying to sell pain medicine, not make a statement about baby wearing. I have used a baby carrier many times, and sometimes, it actually does hurt my back.

Motrin had to know this would cause a bit of controversy.? That’s probably why they did it in the first place.? Issue an apology, get lots and lots of free press.

Or maybe they had no clue they would get this reaction.? If that’s the case, look out.? The last thing you want is to piss off a bunch of moms.? Especially ones that have recently had babies and are probably hormonal.

Uh oh, I apologize.? I shouldn’t have made that insensitive remark about new moms.? The last thing I want to do is start a controversy ;-)

[poll=23]