Tonight there was no fighting, whining, or crying.? Thing 1 and Thing 2 both ate all their dinner, all the vegetables, too, and we didn’t have to bribe them or play let’s make a deal.
They said “please” without being prompted.
All three are in bed and it’s 8 o’clock.
To the aliens who abducted my kids:? Keep them as long as you’d like.? I like these well-behaved replacements.
Flu shots are usually pretty simple. A few seconds and they don’t even know what hit ’em. For Thing 2, two and a half years old, it was an adventure this year.
I took him to the doctor’s office (Suburban Daddy is assigned all doctor visits where shots will be given) on a Monday afternoon to get the shot. Quick and not so painless, but it was over in a few minutes. Then we went out for a cookie at Starbucks and he forgot all about it.
The next day, I received the call from preschool around 10am. He was running a 101 degree fever which normally means he needs to go home. I mentioned that he had a flu shot the day before, and they said if I get a note from the doctor saying he wasn’t contagious, he could stay. A flu shot normally causes a low fever for a day or so. I called the doctor and asked them to fax a note over to the preschool. It’s all good.
Shortly after, I receive another call from preschool. Now Thing 2 has a rash on his body. Time to call the doctor again. The nurse said the fever was a bit high, and the rash wasn’t typical of a flu shot reaction. Better bring him in to have a look.
I picked him up at school and we went to the doctor’s office. This time, Thing 2 immediately recognized where we were and thought he was getting another shot. He refused to be weighed, wouldn’t let the nurse check his temp or look in his throat.
When I got his shirt off, we saw his arm where he received the shot was enormously swollen. All the way from his shoulder to the elbow. It was like twice the normal size. To quote the doctor, “I’ve never seen a flu shot swell up that much. Let me take a picture to submit to medical journals”. Not what you want to hear. Then she marks the swollen points with a pen, so we can come back the next day and see how it progresses.
We give him some Benadryl at the doctors office. Thing 2 wasn’t very receptive, but I held him down while the nurse poured it in his mouth. The doctor also said to keep his arm elevated and ice it. I thought, Seriously? How am I going to get him to do that?
But, once we got home, I was surprised that he became the model patient. We watched an entire Shrek movie (unprecedented). And he actually sat with his arm elevated and frozen vegetables on it.
The next day, the swelling started to go down, and we went back to the doctor and got the green light to go back to preschool. All in all, more than I bargained for with a flu shot.
When new parents hear what to expect from parenthood, they know about the lack of sleep, added expenses, and time constraints. But what new parents don’t fully appreciate is just how disgusting parenting can be.
I’m not just talking of the dirty diapers and burping and spit ups a newborn goes through. That’s nothing compared with the joys of potty training once they get older. Oh, and I can easily deal with some pee on the carpet or poop that misses the bowl. What you are about to hear goes far beyond these on the disgusting scale.
Thing 1 has struggled with potty training to say the least (see this and this for some history). Recently, we stumbled upon what is possibly the source of his troubles. Who knew a four year old could become constipated? After reading up on the causes and symptoms – low fiber diet, drinks lots of milk, holds in and avoids going to point of accident – it now seems so obvious. How could we have missed it? Terrible parents.
Getting back to the disgusting part. On several occasions, when he did manage to make it to the toilet in time, the, uh, specimens, were extremely large and dried. To the point where we asked how something that big could come out of a little kid. So big, in fact, that they actually stopped up the toilet. I’ve never heard of such a thing from anyone, let alone a 4 year old. I guess it’s information you wouldn’t readily volunteer.
One time, the specimen was too big to fit through the opening at the bottom of the toilet. Even after several flushes. So I was forced to break it into pieces. Again, not information I would readily volunteer. I used a plastic knife to break it up in case you are wondering.
Another time, Thing 1 wasn’t able to make it to the bathroom in time and he had an accident. It was just a #1 accident so I promptly put his wet clothes in the washing machine. That is, I thought it was just a #1 accident. Let’s just say there were a few “pebbles” in his pants, too.
They were so dried out, they remained in pebble form throughout an entire wash cycle. And dry cycle. Yes, I put the clothes in the dryer, too. It isn’t exactly something you look for before putting wet clothes in the dryer. It was only after a day of “what is that strange smell” when I realized what had happened. Then I had to decontaminate our washer, dryer, and try to eliminate all traces of “pebbles”. Fun.
So, when I hear new parents talk about “disgusting” spit up and icky diapers, I smile and think to myself Just wait a few more years. Then you’ll know the meaning of disgusting.
Thing 2 reached a major milestone this week. The milestone has one of the biggest impacts on all of our lives. No, he isn’t potty trained (I wish!).
It was really two milestones which converged to create a perfect storm. First, he stopped sleeping in his crib. Not because we wanted him to, but because he suddenly realized he could climb out. And since he is also going through a wake-up-and -cry-4-times-a-night phase, with his newfound skill it became wake-up-and-jump-out-of-the-crib-and-cry-4-times-a-night phase.
So we put the crib mattress on the floor and told him it is a big boy bed. Of course, Thing 1 is quick to point out it isn’t as big as his bed.
The second milestone, which came about after a couple of the nights described above, is that he learned how to turn the knob and open his door. Getting out of his crib into his child proofed room is one thing. Roaming all over the house in the middle of the night is quite another.
So far, he has only ventured as far as our room. And we do have a gate at the top of the stairs to slow him down. But it’s only a matter of time before he decides to take a midnight stroll into his brothers’ rooms and wakes them up to play.? I can’t wait.
It was time to get new sneakers for the kids. Somehow, Thing 2 had managed to wear a hole on the top of his shoe. Probably from all the time he spends on his belly, kicking his feet, during meltdowns.
Naturally, we have to get both kids new shoes at the same time, or else there will be major trouble. And, whenever possible, we get the same style for both. Remember: variety is a bad thing.
So, off to Target on a full family outing. We have to take two shopping carts to keep all three contained. Luckily they had one of these double carts.
Letting the oldest walk is simply not an option. First of all, there is no way Thing 2 would sit down if he saw his brother walking. Why not let them both walk on their own? I might as well just hand a blank check to the cashier on the way in, as a retainer to cover all the damage they would do. No, they must be contained.
The store didn’t have a great selection of shoes. Thing 1 quickly found a Transformers pair in his size. But the only acceptable size 8’s (to a toddler) were the ones with Lightning McQueen.
He instantly fell in love with them and refused to put the old ones back on, so we continued shopping with his new shoes still attached to each other by the security device.
Double carts are great if you have two kids to contain. The problem with the double cart, however, is that the riders are facing, and within arms reach, of each other. It didn’t take long for them to draw the attention of everyone else in the store with their standard preschool humor consisting mainly of potty words, laughing, pointing, singing, and fighting.
If only there was a better way to buy shoes…well I found one, and it’s called Shoebuy. Shoebuy has every brand and you can always find the right size, with whatever kids characters happen to be popular that month. Shipping is free. No sales tax. Low price guarantee.
And here’s the best part, returns are free, too. You can try on as many shoes as you want, just like in a store, and return the ones you don’t like. If you’re like me you hate shoe shopping. But Shoebuy is so easy. Really.
And you never have to deal with the dreaded double shopping cart.
Santa had what he thought was a gift for Thing 1 and Thing 2 this year. What better to get for a couple of energetic boys than a Jump-O-Gym Toddler Trampoline Bouncer
Well, Santa didn’t do a good job planning it out. Ok, it was me. It turns out the bouncer doesn’t come with a pump! You can imagine the looks of disappointment.
Luckily, Suburban Aunt and boyfriend also had the same gift idea after spending two nights at our house. They got a full on moonbounce. And it came with an electric pump.
It goes from 
to 
in about 30 seconds.
Now we had two moonbounces, if I could just pump the other one up. I managed to find a pump which would work. How hard could it be to fill a toy up with air? In a word: very.
After 64 minutes of pumping, and pumping, and pumping, I learned that you do not pump up a Jump-O-Gym Toddler Trampoline Bouncer that looks like this
with a pump like this 
Whoever said variety is the spice of life, wasn’t around a toddler very often. While Thing 2’s bedtime routine is endearing, many of the other routines are quite maddening. Case in point: the daily battle over the brown car seat.
We have two identical car seats for Thing 1 and Thing 2. More accurately, they are what you and I would call identical. Not a toddler. The seats in question are both Britax Roundabouts, identical in every way except one is gray and one is brown.
Part of our morning and afternoon routines is the fight over who gets to sit in the brown car seat. Usually, we make it part of an incentive program to get them out the door faster. Some examples
“Whoever is dressed first gets to sit in the brown seat”
“The one who whines the most sits in the gray seat”
“Whoever sits in the gray seat gets out first”. (Getting out of the car first is another daily fight routine)
We have one gray and one brown seat in both cars. That way, both Suburban Mommy and Suburban Daddy get to experience this daily ritual.
The minute you try to make rational sense out of why the brown seat is worth fighting over, don’t bother. If there is only one kid in the car, they could care less which seat they sit in. In fact, they’ll usually sit in the gray seat by choice. It’s only when their brother is there that they actually care about the color.
I know what you are thinking. Just switch the seats so one car has two grays and other has two browns. Oh, if it were only that simple. When the battle isn’t over color, it is over who sits in the back row of the minivan, or who gets to sit behind the driver, or gets in the car first. I stopped trying to apply logic a long time ago.
The lesson here is to have no variety. In anything. If I were doing it again, I would get two identical cars, with identical car seats. And as we’ve learned, identical also means the exact same color.
When Thing 2 stopped using his high chair, over a year ago, we were happy to get it out of the kitchen. They were always climbing on, pushing, or bumping into it, and it freed up some much needed space. I should have given it a good cleaning before moving to the basement storage room. But, I figured I could just clean it the next time we needed it.
That next time was this weekend, when Thing 3 had his first attempt at solid food. That is, if you can consider rice cereal solid food.
Before we could get those adorable pictures above, I had to deal with what happens when you leave food on a high chair for a year. All that nasty-baby-stuff, which gets into every nook and cranny of the chair, turns into even-nastier-impossible-to-get-off stuff.
?? 