stories | SuburbanDaddy

Happy Birthday Thing 3

Thing 3 turned two years old today!? The day began with him sleeping in until 7:15, which was the best birthday gift to SuburbanMommy and Daddy we could have asked for.

After that, it was a day filled with fun and celebrations tantrums and time-outs.? At two years old, his brothers were more excited about the prospects of a birthday.? We didn’t plan a party because we’re having a combined Thing 2 / Thing 3 birthday party next week.? Well, it’s really Thing 2’s party and Thing 3 gets to be there.? He doesn’t know the difference at his age.

I wish I could say, based on his behavior today, that today was the beginning of the terrible two’s.? Technically, they start today because he is now that age.? But, in fact, he has been in the terrible two’s since he was 9 months old.

After a day of seemingly non-stop tantrums (some mine), we had a makeshift party with a few cupcakes.? These pictures say it all.

This is when we presented the cupcake with a candle, and sang happy birthday.? He was not the least bit interested.? Actually, he was mad because we paused the Backyardigans on the TV.

Happy Birthday To You

This is the scene after blowing out the candle. You can’t see it here but he was having a tantrum in the next room.?? Have you ever seen a kid run away from a chocolate frosted cupcake?? Not to worry about wasted food, SuburbanDaddy will be eating his cupcake later.

Un-birthday

Now here are a couple of birthday professionals.? Thing 1 and Thing 2 had no problem picking up the slack.? Maybe Thing 3 will get the hang of it next year.

Birthday Pros

Going Postal

I took Thing 3 to the post office this weekend, to mail prizes to the winners of the recent DVD giveaway. (New Daddy and Rachel, they will be arriving soon).

There were about 8 people in line when we got there.? Not too bad, I figured, with 3 clerks it should move along.? Thinking it would be a quick stop, I also didn’t bring the “goody bag” I normally have with me, full of snacks, drinks, diapers, toys, and other necessities.

Thing 3 had a Snackwells cookie in hand when we got there.? He loves Snackwells, and usually slowly nibbles and licks his way to a crumbly mess, keeping him occupied for a good ten minutes.? Usually.? For some reason, as soon as we got into the post office, he decided to shove the entire cookie into his mouth, and immediately started crying for a new one.

I should have gone back out to the car and retrieved the goody bag, which was loaded with Snackwells.? But there was a steady stream of people entering the post office and I didn’t want the line to get any bigger.? So we went over to get mailers for the DVD’s.? Winners, if you wonder why you receive the prize in a Mickey Mouse bubble mailer, it’s because I needed something, anything, to distract Thing 3 while we waited in line.

We got to the counter, only to learn I didn’t pre-fill out the labels.? I was told to get out of line, fill out the labels, then come back.? Are you kidding?? Don’t you see this squirming, screaming kid I’m holding?

To fill out address labels, I had to put Thing 3 down, which was what he wanted all along.? He immediately ran through the post office, to the nicely stacked large cardboard envelopes, so he could unstack them all over the floor.? And step all over them.

One thing I’ve learned in situations like this, you just keep doing what you are doing (address labels) and don’t try to clean stuff up until you’re done.? Other people in line may not have agreed with my approach.

But I couldn’t tell you if they were smiling or glaring at me, because of something else I’ve learned about situations like this: don’t make eye contact.? Yeah, I know my kid is trashing the place.? What do you suggest I do about it?? How about you let me cut in front of you in line?

By the time we got back up to the counter, Thing 3 was playing with the car remote on my key chain.? I could hear the horn going off as he pressed the “panic” button.? And the doors were probably sliding open and shut, a nifty feature of minivans, but people in the parking lot probably thought the car was possessed.

Breaking The Silence

Preschoolers are in a constant state of perpetual motion. Put two preschoolers in a confined location, like the back seat of a car, and the inability to move results in all that energy going to the only place they can still move – their mouths.

For me a ride in the car means non-stop chatter between Thing 1 and Thing2.?? What do they talk about?? There is a lot of taunting – I’m older/faster/stronger/scarier/sillier than you. Then there is the grabbing/hitting/touching.? Usually followed by a good amount of whining.

About the only urge that can overcome their urge to talk in the car, is their urge to compete with each other about anything and everything.? Usually the competitive thing causes problems, as they fight compete over everything from going up the stairs first to walking in front of each other.? But in the car a little competition can actually help.

Remember the old Whoever Talks First, Loses game?? I introduced it this weekend and it actually worked for a few minutes.? Both were trying to stay quiet.? I could see it was killing them.? Then Thing 1 broke the silence to declare he was winning because he hadn’t talked yet.? Which of course prompted Thing 2 to declare he won.? Which then started another argument about the rules, and whether coughing or sneezing counted.

It was nice for a few minutes.

Incident Week

Two incident reports in one week.? Last time it was Thing 3’s biting.? Thanks for all of your concern on that, by the way.? I had no idea biting was such a hotbed issue.

This latest one involved Thing 2.? He received a report for kicking sand into the eyes of two of his friends.

I don’t want to give the wrong idea.? From these recent posts, you are probably thinking my kids are a band of hoodlums, out of control and terrorizing the preschool, on the verge of being expelled.? Far from it.? They may be high energy, but behavior has never been a big problem.? Except this week.

There is, of course, a back story on the sand kicking incident.? Thing 2 often plays superhero games with his friends.? He has a vivid imagination, even for a preschooler, constantly talking to his toys and acting out battles of good vs evil.? It turns out that he kicked sand because he was a “good guy”, and he was trying to “get the bad guys”.

The Dreaded Incident Report

Those of you with kids in daycare will know what I’m talking about.? Each day, we get a report of Thing 3’s activites:? what he ate, when he slept, when he pooped, the new words he learned, and his general mood.

Usually, the daily report is pretty standard and I just skim through.? On some days, there is a second report called an Incident Report that I must sign to acknowledge receipt.? There are generally three situations that can result in an incident report for Thing 3:

1. He had a self inflicted accident. These are pretty common as toddlers are always climbing, falling, and bumping into things.

2. He had an accident that was caused by another kid.? Someone pushed him on the playground and he got a bloody nose, for example.

3. He was the cause of someone else’s accident.

When I see the Incident Report, I anxiously hope for #1 or #2.? Thing 3 gets so many bumps, scrapes, and?bruises, either on his own or with the “help” of his brothers, they don’t worry me anymore.? And I know if the accident was more serious, they would have called us during the day instead of waiting until we came to pick him up.? The last thing I want is for my kid to be the cause of someone else’s incident report.

Unfortunately, this was the case yesterday.? One of his friends took a toy from Thing 3 without asking.? Not that it would have mattered if he had asked, the answer would have been no.? At 20 months sharing is not his strongest suit.

So Thing 3 bit him.

In my mind, I can rationalize this type of incident report.? At least my kid wasn’t the instigator.? Sure, he shouldn’t have bit him.? But the other kid shouldn’t have taken the toy, right?

Always Take The Diaper

You’d think I would have learned this lesson by now.? If you are a new parent listen up.? No matter how fast you think a trip will take, no matter how unlikely it is you think you’ll need it, always, always take a diaper with you.

I learned this lesson recently, again, the hard way.? I took Thing 3 to an appointment at the allergy doctor.? It was just a quick follow up visit, where he would get an allergy skin test done.? Run in, run out.? I did not take a diaper.

Well, you can guess what happens next.? We get into the room, doctor sees him, nurse then comes in to administer the test, which is a series of skin pricks to his back.? He then keeps his shirt off for 15 minutes, and the doctor checks for reactions.

About 30 seconds into the 15 minute waiting period, I can smell the dirty diaper.? It doesn’t help that we are in a 10 foot by 10 foot room.

I decided to venture out to the waiting area because there were toys there for him to play with.? Also, because I needed to get some air.? There were other people in the waiting room, who surely knew about the poop in the diaper.? You’d have to be severly olfactory impaired not to.? I’m sure they were thinking – who is this incompetent, unprepared dad?

If there is one lesson I can pass on it is this:? Always take the diaper!

Fired Up and Ready To Go

You’ve probably seen the Fired Up, Ready To Go chant that was used in President Obama’s campaign last year.? But you may not have heard the story about how it started.? If not, watch this video first so the second video will make more sense.

Obama tells how he was tired, and struggling to get motivated for a tiny rally in a South Carolina small town, very early in the morning.? And how one woman got the crowd, and him, energized, focused, and ready to go.

This morning, I decided to see if I could use the same technique, albeit on a much smaller scale.? On Sunday mornings, Thing 1 and Thing 2 have swim class at the county rec center.? It’s early.? It’s cold.? We have a full day planned: swim class, pancake breakfast at the volunteer fire station, and it’s Super Bowl Sunday.? Nobody is very motivated.? It’s going to be a long day.? Time to get fired up and ready to go!

Saturday Report

Well, I made it through another Saturday.? I decided to go with the National Building Museum, which as it turns out is one of DC’s hidden gems for occupying little kids.? There really isn’t anything special in terms of exhibits.? But there is a huge open space and a kid play area called the Building Zone.

We started our day with some play dough at the kitchen table.? An activity that can only be done when SuburbanMommy isn’t home.? Sure, it gets a little messy, but they actually sat in one place for, like, 30 minutes. Continue reading Saturday Report