stories | SuburbanDaddy

The Story I Should Not Tell

I probably should not be telling this story. There are some things we are better off not knowing. I don’t need to know how hotdogs are made. They just taste so good. And I don’t want to hear about what happens in restaurant kitchens. I just want to enjoy a meal out.

After taking Thing 1 and Thing 2 to the pool in the morning, I thought we’d go by this new Burger King with the biggest, two story play place I’ve ever seen. After which, they would surely be wiped out and the rest of my Saturday would be easy.

This play place had 4 levels of tunnels, slides, and climbing. There was actually a sign that said maximum capacity was 215 people! Surely that can’t be right. The Things were loving it. They played for almost 30 minutes before deciding it was time to eat.

Continue reading The Story I Should Not Tell

More Conversations With A 3 Year Old

In a recent post, I tried to convey a typical conversation with Thing 2 while driving home from preschool. As promised, I put the daddy cam in my car one day, so you can see first hand.

It’s actually surprising how well the video came out, considering I was holding the camera with one and and driving with the other. Don’t try this at home.

Birthday Rite of Passage

What would a first birthday be without the “first cake” ritual? In this case it was a cupcake, but the end result is the same.

Happy Birthday Thing 3!

Working Under Pressure

Thing 3 got a birthday present in the mail. It was a fairly large sized box, and the Things were very, very excited. And very eager to “help” their one year old brother play with his new toy.

This isn’t like Christmas, where each Thing has their own presents to keep them occupied. This is a feeding frenzy. It’s survival of the fittest. The Things are climbing over each other, trying to get to the front so they can see what’s in the box. They are grabbing, pushing, and, in Thing 3’s case, crawling to get on top. Continue reading Working Under Pressure

Conversations With A 3 Year Old

Each day I pick up the Things at preschool/daycare and the ride home is no more than 15 minutes, but the conversations are priceless. Thing 2 is very excited to tell me about his day. Any random thought that pops into his head is expressed.

Every sentence starts the same way with “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.” He will keep saying “Daddy” until I acknowledge him with either a “yes”, or by turning around to look at him.

Today, I tried not responding just to see how many times he would say my name. I counted 9 Daddy’s before I finally said “yes”. To get an idea what that is like, say this out loud: Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Now do that for 15 minutes, the length of our ride.

Here is the gist of our conversation today. Continue reading Conversations With A 3 Year Old

What Were These Parents Thinking?

Thing 1 plays on a soccer team. At this age, it’s more of an organized play time than an actual soccer game. But he really enjoys it. I’m sure it’s a hint of what my life will become in a few years as all three kids get into it.

Each week, it is one parent’s job to bring the snack for the team. Bags of crackers, cookies, or pretzels are the norm. This week, the parent decided to bring frozen fruit flavored ice push ups. It’s like a popsicle, except smaller, fatter, and harder to open without making a mess. Especially when it is half melted from sitting in a cooler for an hour with not enough ice.

All the other parents cringed when they saw the team emerge from the snack huddle with frozen treats in hand. The kids loved it for about 6 seconds. That’s how long it takes for the popsicle to be pushed up too far and fall on the grass.

Maybe it is this parent’s way of playing a joke on the rest of us. Ha ha ha. Very funny.

The Gift I Never Wanted

Everyone has their own God given talents. Unique skills which separate them from the pack. Sometimes the talent is, indeed, a gift. Playing the piano is a gift. Hitting a golf ball 300 yards is a gift. But sometimes, the “gift” is not something we want to have. In those cases, we’d rather be like everyone else.

But we can’t escape what we have been given. To quote Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben, “With great power comes great responsibility“.

And so, with great reluctance, I have come to recognize a talent of mine for what it is – a gift. I’m still not sure what I’m meant to do with it, but maybe someday I’ll know.

What is this great talent of mine? I can identify the smell of my kid’s poop. Yes, with a room full of people, when I hear, “Who has a dirty diaper?”, I can definitively claim, “Oh, that’s Thing 2” just by catching a whiff.

It’s not something I wanted. Or that I’m particularly proud of. But I have accepted it as one of my “gifts”.

Take The Animals To The Zoo

What to do on a long holiday weekend with the ~~Animals~~ Things? Take them to the zoo!

The weather was absolutely perfect so we went to the National Zoo in Washington, DC. It’s something we do once a year. It’s only a 45 minute drive, why only once a year? Because that’s about how long it takes to get over fighting the crowds for parking and trying to get through the hot monkey house while pushing two strollers.

Thing 1 got to see a Capybara, which, for unexplained reasons, he finds hilarious.

Thing 2 got to see a tiger. He is obsessed with tigers and calls them Shere Khan after the one in The Jungle Book Movie. He stood at the railing, totally mesmerized, watching the tiger pace back and forth. Then, the tiger did something that amused every kid there to no end. He pooped in the water! This remains the highlight of the trip to my kids. I have to admit, it was pretty funny.

Thing 3 was just happy to be out and about, shoving cheerios into his face, and watching the crowds of people go by.