struggles | SuburbanDaddy

Four Year Old’s Meltdown Caught On Tape

To those readers who are new parents, here is something you may want to see to know what to expect in a few years. Thing 1’s power struggles have been fodder for this site before. But this time, I actually caught one on tape.

This one was actually pretty tame by his prior standards. It started one weekend afternoon. He gave up taking naps on weekends a long time ago, even though he takes one every day at preschool.

The sequence of events is as follows.

Thing 1 says he needs a tissue. But he goes into his “I’m too weak and it’s too hard to move” routine, choosing to lay on the stairs instead. After making the long trek up the stairs, he returns to say there are no tissues. More accurately, there are no tissues because he put them all in the trash. The whole box.

I send him to his room. Crying ensues. After being in his room for a few minutes, he starts to bang the door. I go up to check. He denies doing it.

More of the same. More crying. Just another day with a four year old.

I can’t wait to show him this video in about 25 years, when he has a new baby, so he’ll know what to expect.

Just When I Thought I Was Out

This weekend started off with two signs of the apocalypse. After a very long work week where I traveled across the country in two days, I was expecting the usual marathon weekend.

But on Saturday morning, Things 1, 2, and 3 ALL slept until 7am. Unprecedented. Saturday morning, I declared I had just had the best night sleep in four years. Eight hours of uninterrupted slumber. It was incredible.

Then, Thing 2, who has just started potty training, went #2 in the potty for the first time. If you are a new reader, we have had many, many struggles in this department with Thing 1. So this event was a sign of a new chapter in my life. One of restful sleep and normal potty relations.

Birds were chirping. The sun was shining. It was going to be a glorious day!

Oh, how things can change in a hurry. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!

The potty success was short lived. The baby sitter, who we depend on every two weeks for a few hours of mommy daddy time, canceled. Some lame excuse about spitting up blood. And Thing 3 decided he would start teething again this weekend.

Well, now it’s 6:40pm on Sunday. I love Sunday nights. The baths are done. The kids are fed. The wine is flowing. We are all exhausted, quietly watching a Disney movie. Not much longer now. I’ll make it.

When the weekend began, I thought the apocalypse was upon us. Rest assured, it is not.

Parenting Poll Of The Week – College vs Retirement Savings

Every parent knows how expensive college will be by the time our kids are old enough to go. The question is, what to do about it? SuburbanMommy and I ~~argue about~~ discuss this on a regular basis. How much we should be saving now for our kid’s college, and how much for retirement?

My position is that I’d love to pay for their college, but I don’t know today how much I’ll be able to afford in 18 years, or what our financial situation will be like then. Stuff happens. So to take money off the table now, by putting it into a 529 account, instead of, say, our own retirement accounts, seems like it could be risky down the road. What if we put too much into the college accounts now, only to realize in 30 years that we don’t have as much in retirement as we need? Will we wish we hadn’t diverted so much money to college accounts?

SuburbanMommy feels that we can do both. Put some money towards college and some towards retirement. If we don’t put it away now we’ll never have it later (i.e. ~~she~~ we will spend it). This is probably the right, best of both worlds approach, and it is what we are doing now.

But I still wonder amount how much is the right amount? The kids can always borrow money for college. I’d rather they didn’t have all that debt, but at least the option is there for them. You can’t borrow for retirement.

Well, maybe I could rely on my kids to fund my retirement. Since they won’t have any college debt, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to help out dear old dad. Oh wait, they’ll be saving for their kid’s college.

[poll=9]

Results Of Big Weekend

The big weekend didn’t go as well as we had hoped. The rest of the weekend went pretty much like the early update. We had some mild, bribery induced successes.? But there were also many, many accidents. To the point where Thing 2 actually asked to wear a diaper on Sunday. I was proud of his effort, he was trying very hard, but I could see his frustration.

We gave the teachers at daycare the green light to continue today, too. He normally does much better there when he goes along with his friends as a group.

I’m about to leave work, on my way to pickup at daycare. I’m ~~not very~~ cautiously optimistic.

Weekend Update

First update on the big weekend. Thing 2 was very excited to be wearing big boy underwear. He picked Thomas The Train. He was even more excited when he saw the bag of Oreos. He gets one every time he goes potty.

The Oreos were an instant success. He went pee pee in the potty! Everyone is happy.

Thirty minutes later, a setback. Thomas The Train is full of poop. I clean Thing 2 up and next up is Elmo. I think Thing 2 thinks there is an endless supply of underwear, like diapers, and after an accident he gets to pick a new pair.

Hmm. Maybe I need to rethink the strategy. We’ll stick with it for the rest of the day.

Big Event This Weekend

I’ve written a lot about the difficulties we’ve had with Thing 1 and potty training.? I guess it’s to be expected since he’s our first one and we learn as we go.? It’s what experts call the “guinea pig syndrome”.

We have tried very hard not to push Thing 2 to use the potty until he is ready.? He actually started going potty some time ago.? At preschool, he goes all the time, and his diaper is rarely wet.? At home, he almost always refuses to go.? But we don’t push him.

Now, his teacher is saying he is ready.? We’ve thought so, too, for a while now, but were reluctant.? So we’ve decided this weekend will be the big switch over.? We’ll get out the big boy underwear and make a big deal.

The way I see it, this can go one of two ways.? Either he embraces the potty and never looks back (I’ve heard legends of this happening), or we crash and burn, and we’re in for a rough weekend.? If that’s the case, at least I’ll have plenty of entertaining blog material for Monday.

Wish me luck.

Morning Surprise

Thing 2 wakes up early, usually around 5:30am, and likes to come into our room. It may seem like an early wake up call, but it’s much better than him waking up at 5:30am and screaming until we get him.

He’s very snuggly in the morning, and he likes to lay between SuburbanMommy and me, alternating between sharing her pillow and mine. Often he falls asleep, or sometimes we turn on Mickey Mouse.

Today, he did all of those things, then this happened.

Thing 2: I need to go pee pee

This was a breakthrough, he never asks to go potty. My immediate response was

Daddy: OK, let’s go!

Then, after a few seconds the realization set in.

Daddy: Do you mean you already went pee pee?

Thing 2: Yes

Then I spotted the big wet circle in my bed.

Home Alone Part Deux

Looking back at my home alone weekend, I can laugh at it now. We all made it through. No major incidents to report. The house is a little dirtier. My hair a little grayer.

Here is what SuburbanMommy was doing this weekend. She’s the one with the empty wine glass.

For comparison, here’s a look at what the weekend was like for me. This video wasn’t recorded this weekend. There was no time to think about capturing videos. I was very focused on the moment. As in, please let this moment be over. But this video pretty much sums up what the weekend was like.