struggles | SuburbanDaddy

How Long Do I Keep This Stuff?

Like most kids their age, The Things love to make art projects.? Coloring, painting, collages, and many other works of junk art they produce in preschool.? Tape a piece of yarn to a popsicle stick and, presto, it’s a fishing rod.

Last weekend we went to Home Depot’s Kids Workshop.? Once a month they have ready to assemble wood projects where the kids hammer, sand, glue, hammer, and hammer.? Did I mention there is a lot hammering?? It gets quite loud, but it’s a fun outing and it’s free.

This week we made flag holders.? I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do with them.? I guess we can paint them this weekend.? But then can I throw them away?

What about the dozens of projects they bring home from preschool each week?? Sure, there are the one or two which are worth hanging on the refrigerator or in my office.? But then there are also many works entitled “Three Scribbles on a Piece of Paper”.? Often, the preschool gives them recycled office printouts to write on, so it isn’t even a clean piece of paper.

How long before it’s ok to throw this stuff away?? What will my kids think when they find one in the garbage?

The Daddy Rules

Kids are always complaining that there are too many rules to follow.? No running in the house.? No fighting with your brother.? No putting your fingers up your nose.

As I picked up the Things at daycare one day, I realized there are an awful lot of rules that I have to follow, too.

Rule #1: Bring snacks for the ride home.? Sure, it may not be the best idea before dinner, but it isn’t worth the price of crying and whining I’ll pay if I don’t have them.

Rule #2: Snacks must be the same, and that means the same size. God forbid Thing 1 or Thing 2 thinks they have the smaller snack.? If snacks are a sandwich bag of animal crackers, for example, the bags need to have the same number of crackers in them.

Rule #3: Go to Thing 1’s classroom before Thing 2’s.? I don’t know if it’s the break from the routine, or, more likely, that Thing 1 thinks he “wins” if he is first.? Failure to follow Rule #3 would most certainly result in another four year old meltdown.

Rule #4: There will be a fight to be first into the car. Not so much a rule as a statement of fact.? Thing 1 and 2 will push, claw, and grab each other to get into the car first.? Followed by the winner’s taunting of “I win”, to the loser’s crying.? Luckily I have something of value to hold over them to get them to quiet down (see Rule #1).

Rule #5: Daddy Eats Dinner Last. The kids eat first.? Then there are baths to be given.? Fights to be broken up.? Finally, after Thing 3 is down for the night, I can start to make my dinner.? Of course, as soon as Thing 1 and Thing 2 see it, they want some.? Which brings us to…

Rule #6: Always make more food than I can eat because I will end up giving most away.

I think I’d rather have the kids’ rules.

The Story I Should Not Tell

I probably should not be telling this story. There are some things we are better off not knowing. I don’t need to know how hotdogs are made. They just taste so good. And I don’t want to hear about what happens in restaurant kitchens. I just want to enjoy a meal out.

After taking Thing 1 and Thing 2 to the pool in the morning, I thought we’d go by this new Burger King with the biggest, two story play place I’ve ever seen. After which, they would surely be wiped out and the rest of my Saturday would be easy.

This play place had 4 levels of tunnels, slides, and climbing. There was actually a sign that said maximum capacity was 215 people! Surely that can’t be right. The Things were loving it. They played for almost 30 minutes before deciding it was time to eat.

Continue reading The Story I Should Not Tell

Working Under Pressure

Thing 3 got a birthday present in the mail. It was a fairly large sized box, and the Things were very, very excited. And very eager to “help” their one year old brother play with his new toy.

This isn’t like Christmas, where each Thing has their own presents to keep them occupied. This is a feeding frenzy. It’s survival of the fittest. The Things are climbing over each other, trying to get to the front so they can see what’s in the box. They are grabbing, pushing, and, in Thing 3’s case, crawling to get on top. Continue reading Working Under Pressure

Conversations With A 3 Year Old

Each day I pick up the Things at preschool/daycare and the ride home is no more than 15 minutes, but the conversations are priceless. Thing 2 is very excited to tell me about his day. Any random thought that pops into his head is expressed.

Every sentence starts the same way with “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.” He will keep saying “Daddy” until I acknowledge him with either a “yes”, or by turning around to look at him.

Today, I tried not responding just to see how many times he would say my name. I counted 9 Daddy’s before I finally said “yes”. To get an idea what that is like, say this out loud: Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Now do that for 15 minutes, the length of our ride.

Here is the gist of our conversation today. Continue reading Conversations With A 3 Year Old

What Were These Parents Thinking?

Thing 1 plays on a soccer team. At this age, it’s more of an organized play time than an actual soccer game. But he really enjoys it. I’m sure it’s a hint of what my life will become in a few years as all three kids get into it.

Each week, it is one parent’s job to bring the snack for the team. Bags of crackers, cookies, or pretzels are the norm. This week, the parent decided to bring frozen fruit flavored ice push ups. It’s like a popsicle, except smaller, fatter, and harder to open without making a mess. Especially when it is half melted from sitting in a cooler for an hour with not enough ice.

All the other parents cringed when they saw the team emerge from the snack huddle with frozen treats in hand. The kids loved it for about 6 seconds. That’s how long it takes for the popsicle to be pushed up too far and fall on the grass.

Maybe it is this parent’s way of playing a joke on the rest of us. Ha ha ha. Very funny.

What I Don’t Need

In my youth, which means before I had kids, I had trouble getting up in the morning. I had to be very careful to set my alarm, or else I would sleep through whatever it was I had to do. Ahhh, youth.

I haven’t set an alarm clock in four and a half years. Surprise surprise, that’s exactly Thing 1’s age.

It is impossible for me to oversleep for anything now. Most days, Thing 3 is my alarm clock. We can’t set the exact time he goes off, but he is sure to be standing in his crib and doing his cock-a-doodle-do (aka crying) sometime between 5-6:15am.

Just in case Thing 3’s wakeup call doesn’t work (not likely), I have backup Plan B – otherwise known as Thing 2. As soon as he wakes up Thing 2 will come into our room and climb into our bed.

So, what happens on those rare occasions, like when I travel for work, when there are no Things to wake me up? Do I go back to my oversleeping youth? Not to worry.

My natural clock has been “readjusted”, from so many years of waking up by 6am, that it is impossible to sleep any later. It’s quite a ~~curse~~ blessing, really. It doesn’t matter how late I go to sleep, I will be up at 6am. Just like the Things.

No More Games

Thing 1 has been home from preschool now for seven days while he recovers from surgery. He’s in good spirits, but use of his right arm is limited, and we need to help entertain him. So we play a lot of games. Over and over and over. I estimate I’ve played 26 games of Trouble, 14 games of Chutes and Ladders, 12 games of Candy Land, 35 games of Spiderman Yahtzee.? We’ve also played our share of Go Fish and War.

With his little brothers at daycare all day, it’s the most one-on-one time we’ve spent with him since before his brothers were born.? I know he’d prefer not have his right arm bandaged up and be able to run around, but I think he’s really enjoying all the special attention he’s been getting.

This must be what it’s like to be an only child.? Having to deal with three all the time, I usually imagine life with just one kid must be easier.? But now that I’ve been doing it for a week and a half, I see that, in some ways, it’s actually easier to have more kids!? With all the fights I break up between Thing 1 and Thing 2, I didn’t realize how much they actually entertain each other.

Without his brother there, Thing 1 is constantly asking me “What do I do now” and “Can we play a game again“.

If you have any game suggestions, please please leave them in a comment.? I’m about to start another game of War.