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Four Years Just Like That

Thing 1 just turned four. I go back and forth on whether the time has gone by fast or not. In some ways, it has been a blur, and I remember clearly when there was just one Thing and that was about all I could possibly handle. Now there are three of them, and I probably handle better than I did back then. Then, there are times 4 years seems like a very, very long time, and I can’t even remember what it was like before kids. Oh well, I’m sure the next 4 years will go even faster.

Here is some video from the party, held at a kid’s gym. A bit much for a kid’s party? Are you kidding? Do you think I’d have that many kids in my house? The video is from the end of the party, where they have the birthday boy put on a crown and hand out the all important goody bags.

Daddy’s Dirty Little Secrets

The weight of these two secrets has been building and building, and I just need to get them off my conscience.? You must promise never to tell my kids.

Secret #1: When reading? books to my kids, I often skip words, paragraphs, or even entire pages.? Especially at bedtime.? We have some Thomas the train and Dr. Seuss books that take a really long time to read.? Sometimes, I just flip through the pages, ? avoiding the words altogether, and just make up a few words of my own.

Secret #2: I sneak candy out of their Halloween bags.? Not from Thing 1’s bag, because he counts all the pieces and knows exactly how much he has.? But Thing 2 is too young to realize it, so I keep doing it.

Ok, so I’m a terrible parent.? But can you honestly tell me you haven’t done the same???

It’s All About The Routine

Routine truly is the key to handling a 2 year old. Take bedtime. Usually, a source of stalling, tantrums, coaxing, coercing, and finally, a lot of crying. But when a routine is established, bedtime can actually go fairly easily. Here is the current routine with Thing 2. No detail is too small to repeat every day.

Starting at 7pm, put on pajamas
Watch either Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or Little Einsteins
Tell Thing 2 to stop jumping on the couch…six times
7:30…Get a drink of milk or apple juice. Thing 2 must open and close the refrigerator door by himself or all bets are off
Piggy back ride upstairs
Brush teeth. First daddy brushes, then his turn. Thing 2 rinses the brush off and puts toothbrush into holder himself or all bets are off
Read the same book we’ve read the previous 4 months. Twice.
Two “running hugs” where Thing 2 runs across the room at full speed to hug me while saying “CHICKEN!”. I have no idea how this started, but it is very very important to do it every night
Thing 2 must turn on his music and turn off the light himself or all bets are off
Cover him with a “night-night”. A night-night is one of daddy’s old tee shirts. Thing 2 doesn’t sleep with a blanket, but a blanket has to be in his crib but not touching him
Say goodnight

As I said, it’s all about the routine

Finally A Place For Dads

With all the mom-focused parenting magazines, websites, blog networks, and marketing, you’d think there was no such thing as a dad. Well, the guys at DadLabs have created a voice for dads everywhere. From what looks like their basement studio, they put out several internet TV episodes each week. Basically, Wayne’s World without the bad hair. Recent topics include a debate about Beer at kids birthday parties, and a product test of a Touch Free Diaper Pail.? Go Dads!

Kids Say The Funniest Things #4

On the way to a birthday party with Thing 1, I made a wrong turn and we were not going to make the party in time.

SuburbanDaddy: We turned the wrong way.? We’re going to be a little late.

Thing 1:? Daddy, did we go the wrong way because the directions said to go that way.? Or because you went the wrong way?

SuburbanDaddy: [no answer]

Yes, not even four years old yet, and my son is already a wise-ass.

Help! My Kids Don’t Watch Enough Television

Yes, you read that right. I want my kids to watch more TV. I’d like them to sit, quietly, for about an hour and give SuburbanDaddy a few minutes to rest.

I tried to have “movie time” on both days this weekend. On Saturday I built up the idea of watching Finding Nemo, a movie my kids have seen (at least short sections of it). They already know all the characters thanks to product marketing. We barely got past the previews when Thing 1 started asking for the shark part, and Thing 2 was jumping across the couches. Movie time over.

Sunday I tried again with Toy Story. This time, we set up in the basement. We pulled out the sleeping bag and turned off the lights. Both kids had skipped their naps so they were primed for movie watching. If the amount of time they devote to talking about it is any indication, they love Toy Story. They know all the characters and have seen enough to know what it is about. This time, ten minutes into the movie, after ten minutes of fighting over who sits where, and who gets which pillow, they start wandering off to play with trains.

No problem. They are playing nicely (read: not fighting) so I can turn on the football game instead. Ah, if only it were that easy. Thing 1 and Thing 2 have no interest in watching TV, until they see I have an interest, and then they stop everything else and demand to watch. If only they were interested in football. What would you like to watch? I ask them. Toy Story of course. Everyone gets back into the sleeping bags, lights off, movie back on. The bliss lasts just four minutes this time and we’re back to where we started.

Why won’t my kids watch TV? When I was a kid, TV was a marvel. I was happy to watch whatever I could. And the shows were crappy and had commercials, and I had to wait until they were scheduled to be on. No DVR. No on demand. Just a few channels. No remote. And I still watched!

Ridiculous Recall: Water Shoes Slippery When Wet

Here’s another in the category of ridiculous product recalls. H&M stores voluntarily stopped selling a pair of water shoes because, get this, water makes them slippery. There have been no reports of injuries but H&M felt compelled to remove them anyway.

Want to make some easy money? Get a pair of these shoes, run outside when it’s raining, and then sue H&M for big bucks for not telling you water makes the ground slippery.

True Origins Of Santa Claus

There is much lore about how Santa Claus came to be. And lots of cynics will tell you it?s part of the commercialization of Christmas, a plot by the retailers and greeting card industry to get people to spend lots of money each year.

I have my own theory on the origins of Santa Claus. The whole concept was devised by a parent, probably one with at least three kids like me. Think about it. Santa only brings presents to good little boys and girls. Parents are always looking for some enticement to get kids to behave. And, Santa is always watching to see if you?ve bad or good. Simply brilliant! Now we just need to work this into other times of the year?