Thing 3 is both inventive and business minded. He has decided to invent a Teleporter. Although the product is still in the concept stage, he already has a sales pitch video.
Incidentally, the Power Ranger outfit has nothing to do with the Teleporter. He just wears it around the house sometimes.
One lesson he’s already learned: go to the bathroom before starting your sales pitch. Especially when you are wearing a Power Ranger suit.
Resolutions. It’s good to have goals and work towards something each year. Even six year olds make New Years resolutions.
SuburbanMommy: Do you know what a resolution is?
Thing 3: Yes, something you want to do.
SuburbanMommy: Do you have a resolution for 2014?
Thing 3: To take over the world.
He didn’t hesitate at all before giving the answer. Knowing Thing 3, he has probably thought about this for some time. And some day he just might do it.
Do you remember when you were in school, and there was a big assignment that you prepared for a long time. When the big day finally came, and you handed in the work, there was nothing more you could do. You did all you could and now it was time to find out the results. It was the moment of truth.
Today was Thing 3’s moment of truth, where he found out if he is on the nice or naughty list for 2013. Santa sends a personalized video for each Thing to SuburbanMommy each year. In the video, Santa knows surprisingly specific details about each one (6 years old, first grade) and it is always a big moment when, just before Christmas, we watch the videos.
This year Thing 3 was unsure which way it would go. He was nervous. Especially since we received a video from Santa list week saying he was still undecided. SuburbanSanta sometimes does this to make sure a Thing pays extra attention to being good the week before Christmas.
Watch Thing 3 learn the results.
Thing 3: I can see through things. But I can only do it once a day.
He shuts his eyes really tight and tries to see but can’t.
Thing 3: Oh, I’ve already used it up today.
I sort of believe him.
Our elf on the shelf, affectionately named Joe, made his return last night. We returned from Thanksgiving dinner with the Suburban Cousins to find Joe in the sink, relaxing in a bubble bath of marshmallows. And he had some company!
Thing 3 just completed the first quarter of first grade, and SuburbanMommy had the conference with his teacher. Somewhat surprisingly, he received a glowing report saying how well he listens and tries in class.
SuburbanDaddy: Your teacher says you do a great job listening in school. Why don’t you listen like that at home?
Thing 3: That’s because school matters.
Taken by itself, this is a not so special video of some 4 year olds attempting to play soccer. But, if you know Thing 3, especially if you knew him when he was 4 years old, and once you hear the back story of what he was trying to do in this game, it takes on a whole new meaning.
Thing 3 was mad about something. And there was always something when he was 4 years old. Someone probably said or did something the wrong way. So Thing 3 decided he would get even by sabotaging the game and kicking the ball off the field so they couldn’t play. He was so determined and managed to kick the ball off the field a few times.
The coaches and other kids had no idea why he kept intentionally kicking the ball off the field. Thing 1 was there and thought it was hilarious, and he still jokes about it. I wanted to immortalize it here forever so one day Thing 3’s kids could see how their dad was when he was 4.
When Thing 3 is involved, you never know what he’s going to say. Which means any time spent with him will be entertaining.
I took Thing 2 and Thing 3 to the doctor for their annual checkup. Thing 2 just turned eight and Thing 3 turned six.
As we were walking into the building, there was a frail, elderly man walking slowly with a cane. Thing 3, who never has an unspoken thought, called a lot of attention to the “guy with an old man cane”.
I immediately had flashbacks of being in a men’s locker room with Thing 3 and a noticeably overweight man. So I decided we should take the stairs rather than risk being in a confined space with Thing 3 and the old man.
We were in the examining room. The doctor came in carrying both of their charts.
As Thing 3 climbed up on the table, in nothing but his boxer briefs and a pair of socks, the doctor said, “So you are six years old now.”
Thing 3 exclaimed, “How did you know that!”
It’s the same reaction he has when Santa knows stuff about him.
I noticed he was wearing his underwear inside out. And his socks were also inside out. Why? Because he likes it that way.
Then, out of the blue Thing 3 tells the doctor, “Don’t touch my wiener”.
Just another day with Thing 3. He can make a routine trip to the doctor entertaining.