I wonder at what age kids understand sarcasm?? When behind a slow car, I guess I’ve said something like:? “Come on people.? Can you drive any slower ?”
On more than one occasion, Thing 1 has asked “Daddy, why do you want them to drive slower?? Don’t you mean faster?”
Rather than try to explain sarcasm to a 5 year old, I just said “Oh you’re right.? I meant faster.? Silly me.”
Preschoolers are in a constant state of perpetual motion. Put two preschoolers in a confined location, like the back seat of a car, and the inability to move results in all that energy going to the only place they can still move – their mouths.
For me a ride in the car means non-stop chatter between Thing 1 and Thing2.?? What do they talk about?? There is a lot of taunting – I’m older/faster/stronger/scarier/sillier than you. Then there is the grabbing/hitting/touching.? Usually followed by a good amount of whining.
About the only urge that can overcome their urge to talk in the car, is their urge to compete with each other about anything and everything.? Usually the competitive thing causes problems, as they fight compete over everything from going up the stairs first to walking in front of each other.? But in the car a little competition can actually help.
Remember the old Whoever Talks First, Loses game?? I introduced it this weekend and it actually worked for a few minutes.? Both were trying to stay quiet.? I could see it was killing them.? Then Thing 1 broke the silence to declare he was winning because he hadn’t talked yet.? Which of course prompted Thing 2 to declare he won.? Which then started another argument about the rules, and whether coughing or sneezing counted.
It was nice for a few minutes.
Kids will do anything to avoid going to bed.? Last night, we let them stay up while we were watching the president’s press conference.? It led us on a strange path of questions and topics.? Here are some of the highlights.? I wish I was video taping.
Thing 1: What does the President do all day?
Me: [Long pause]? Um.? He helps people that live in our country.? Like when there is a big storm he makes sure they get help.? And he protects our country from bad guys trying to get in.
Thing 1:? How does he stop the bad guys??? How can one person stop all the bad guys?? Is he as strong as Superman?
Me: Kind of.? And he has lots of people helping him.
Thing 2: Is there a door to get into America to keep the bad guys out, and he locks it?? How can he keep the bad guys out if there is no door?
Thing 1: How many elevators are there in the White House?
Me:? [with certainty] There are 2 elevators
I have found sometimes it’s better to give easy to understand, absolute answers so there aren’t lots and lots of followup questions.
Thing 2: How many kitchens are in the White House?
Me: [with certainty] Three kitchens
Thing 1: How do they know which one to eat in?
As you can see, this could – and often does – go on for a very, very long time.? Usually, when I’m in the mood, I play along and add fuel to their fire.? The majority of what I say is true.? So maybe I pass off some guesses as fact.? I’m the daddy and they expect me to have all the answers, right?? Tell me, how would you have handled this one I got last night?
Thing 1: What time does the President go to bed?
I immediately answered with absolute certainty “1:00 in the morning.”? He bought it.
If you want an honest answer, ask a kid.? You will always get the brutal truth.? Often without asking for it.
This conversation took place when I picked the kids up at preschool.? I had just gotten my hair cut.
Thing 2: Why did you get your hair cut?
SuburbanDaddy: Because it was getting too long
Thing 2: Why do you have so much gray hair?
When my hair is short, apparently the gray is more prominent.? I think we all know the 3 sources of my rapidly graying hair.
Then we went to Thing 1’s classroom.? He immediately started to laugh.
SuburbanDaddy: Why are you laughing?
Thing 1: You look like a chicken!
Next time I’ll have to consult with them before getting my hair cut.? You’ve got to love their honesty.
I’ve already posted about the intoxicating effect Oreos have on my kids.? Well, today I encountered another substance with the same potency: hot chocolate.
SuburbanMommy was kind enough to load Thing 1 and Thing 2 up on hot chocolate, then
leave the house with Thing 3.? I tried to play a game of Candy Land with them, but the game broke down when someone reached the part of the board with Gloppy.? In case you haven’t played Candy Land in a while, Gloppy is the chocolate monster near the finish line.
This video was taken a few minutes after the hysterics over Gloppy.? Hysterics which included Thing 2 laughing so hard, he literally peed his pants.? The playing cards are for a game of Go Fish we started, but we kept getting sidetracked by Gloppy.? I got the video camera and asked to get all their “sillies” out so we could continue the game.
According to the National Retail Federation, the most popular kids costume is a Princess.? Other popular costumes include Star Wars, witches, and Spiderman.? See below for the full list of the top 20 most popular kids costumes from 2005.
This year, I feel very comfortable saying that Thing 2 will be wearing a truly unique costume, one that I don’t think we’ll see as we trick or treat, and probably not one we’re likely to see again.
His costume started as Spiderman.? But he didn’t like the mask part, so for the last few weeks he’s been the unmasked Spiderman.? Then, SuburbanMommy got a Batman costume for Thing3, and Thing 2? loves the Batman mask.? But he also loves his Spiderman costume, especially since it is the kind that has the built in muscles.
To Thing 2, he isn’t just wearing a costume.? He believes he actually is Spiderman.? For several weeks now, when someone says his name, he impatiently corrects them and says No, I AM SPIDERMAN! (Some days he says he is Yucky Man, a character from a Backyardigans TV Show, but that’s a whole different story).
So, we have Spider-Bat.? Part Spiderman, part Batman.? Oh yeah, there is one more twist to the costume.? This new superhero creation, Spider-Bat, also wears womens high heel shoes.? Nothing too high, mind you, because that would make catching the bad guys difficult.? But still high enough to get noticed by the other superheroes.
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2005 Top Kids’ Costumes |
|||
|
|
|
# of Children |
|
|
1 |
Princess |
11.8% |
3,778,217 |
|
2 |
Witch |
5.2% |
1,664,215 |
|
3 |
Spiderman |
4.5% |
1,439,321 |
|
4 |
Monster |
4.1% |
1,304,385 |
|
5 |
Darth Vader |
3.9% |
1,259,406 |
|
6 |
Superhero |
3.9% |
1,259,406 |
|
7 |
Star Wars Character |
2.5% |
809,618 |
|
8 |
Batman |
2.4% |
764,639 |
|
9 |
Ninja |
2.3% |
719,660 |
|
10 |
Clown |
2.3% |
719,660 |
|
11 |
Pirate |
2.1% |
674,682 |
|
12 |
Angel |
2.0% |
629,703 |
|
13 |
Pumpkin |
2.0% |
629,703 |
|
14 |
Power Rangers |
1.8% |
584,724 |
|
15 |
Cinderella |
1.7% |
539,745 |
|
16 |
Vampire |
1.5% |
494,767 |
|
17 |
Cheerleader |
1.5% |
494,767 |
|
18 |
Cat |
1.5% |
494,767 |
|
19 |
Ghost/Ghoul |
1.4% |
449,788 |
|
20 |
Soldier/Sailor |
1.4% |
449,788 |
We go to dinosaur museums, and read books about dinosaurs all the time.? The kids know all about dinosaur bones and fossils.
Last night, after reading a dinosaur book with SuburbanMommy before bed, Thing 1 asked her “How did the dinosaurs die?”.? SuburbanMommy’s response: “Ask Daddy”.
It’s not a question I’ve thought about. At least not in a very long time.? Maybe I should have paid more attention when we visited the Natural History Museum.
My immediate answer was that a meteor crashed into the earth, causing so much smoke and ash, that the sun was blocked and the Ice Age ensued.? SuburbanMommy thought I was making it up.? Who knows where I got it from.? I probably got the idea from a movie.? Or an episode of Backyardigans.
Some Google searching this morning made me feel a little better, or not, about my answer.? I found some support for my meteor killing the dinosaurs theory.? But I also found several other explanations – disease, volcano, or climate change.
Last night’s question about dinosaurs has made me think of some questions of my own.? If a not even 5 year old can stump his parents, what’s going to happen when he gets a little older?? Forget about not being smarter than a 5th grader.? I’m not sure I am smarter than a 5 year old.
My kids don’t watch what I’d consider a lot of television.? In fact, many times, I wish they would spend more time watching TV.
But this weekend, Thing 2 really wanted to watch movies.? Finally, SuburbanMommy gave him the old parenting line: If you watch too much TV, your brain will turn to mush.
He didn’t seem to grasp the concept of brains or mush, and didn’t make much of it.? Then, a few hours later, while we were eating lunch, we were talking about what Thing 1 and Thing 2 would do during “quiet time”.?? That’s what we call the time on weekends after lunch when Thing 3 naps and we attempt to have some quiet.
So Thing 2 says,? We can’t watch a movie during quiet time, because it will turn the TV into a giant mushroom.